Back…for reals

16 Jul

So my grand “I’m back” post didn’t really pan out.  It was hard for me to write here when I was in a complete standstill in regards to infertility treatments.  Thankfully said standstill is over and we are moving again.  Loan got approved, we ended up going through our local credit union as the rates were GREAT and we were able to get it as a “first mortgage” type loan since we never had a mortgage on our house prior.  We used a portion of the money to get a new roof & a new furnace things that were desperately needed for our house.  We also had some other things that came up but the rest of the money has been earmarked for fertility treatments.  We went through Arc and decided to opt for the 1 & 1 package, I know it’s kind of a pathetic package but I couldn’t bring myself to commit to anything else at this point.  I spoke with our RE about concerns because I had heard many a time about the first IVF cycle being a bit of a “test cycle” with meds and what not.  He assured me that it probably wouldn’t be the case for me as I had already done three medicated IUI cycles and I would be using Gonal-F for my IVF which they had previously given me for all of my IUI’s so they know how I respond.

Currently I’m in the midst of my suppression cycle – I took my last BCP last night and am doing 10units of Lupron a night – I go in Wednesday for our baseline ultrasound.  Prior to actually starting the suppression cycle we opted for some genetic testing – our RE works with a company (email me if you want the information) that is AWESOME – if you have insurance even if insurance doesn’t cover the tests at all you only have to pay $99 a person and it runs a huge long list of tests.  The only genetic mutation that popped up for me was an issue with Iron absorption- something to bring up with my primary doctor but nothing that would limit my ability to get pregnant or maintain the pregnancy.  My husband tested positive for MTHFR and was told to take a baby aspirin and multi-vitamin and bring it up with our primary doctor but it wouldn’t effect our IVF chances at all.  He also strangely tested positive for the cystic fibrosis gene, I say strangely because we were actually certain that I would be the one who tested positive for it as I had a cousin who unfortunately passed away due to cystic fibrosis – where as my husband has not had a single case in his family.  We had them triple check the results and were assured that they were accurate, so we are going with that.  I was just glad that I didn’t have anything pop up that would make me more susceptible to miscarriage.

Friday I start the Gonal-F & Menopur injections.  I really hope this is it, I look at the percentages and I know our chances aren’t great – but I still hope- there are some days I’m fully convinced it’s that little bit of hope that actually enables me to get out of bed in the morning.  We haven’t told a lot of people that we are currently doing IVF, our parents know and I have two facebook friends that know, I just can’t bring myself to tell more people.  It’s like putting it out there in the world is just asking for badness.  I almost didn’t start typing here because I’m scared, I’m so scared of it not working it’s like if I keep it this gigantic secret maybe it won’t hurt so bad if it doesn’t work.  However, that being said I’m going to try my damnedest to start updating here again I think it’s good for me to let it out otherwise all the worry just sits inside of me eating away.  So while I probably won’t comment every day I’m going to aim for a few times a week.  Hope if there is anyone still out there reading this that everything is going well with you – I’ve tried to keep up with a lot of my “infertility” blogs but I’m fully convinced that feedly ate some of them when I transitioned from google reader – so I’m still in the process of trying to get everything to update correctly.

Fingers crossed –

Tara

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2 Responses to “Back…for reals”

  1. fromheretomotherhood July 16, 2013 at 10:47 am #

    I am hoping the best for you!

  2. Christa July 18, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

    Can’t wait to hear how this cycle goes. I wish you the best of luck!!!

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